Karma is a bitch. but just this once, I wish she wouldn't be.

Ive hurt so many people, and it hasn't even been on purpose. and sometimes I do feel bad. But honestly, really I dont. I sleep perfectly at night. Im one of the lucky people with no conscience, but Im a good person. Im good. I try really hard to be, sometimes of course I fail. But im a karma believer, and I trust that bitch will murder the hell out of me. I'm confident.
I've already meet her. She has ruined a lot for me. Or maybe it was me... When, you know what I mean. The point is, my karma has taken away love, hope, it has even gien me pimples! (this one time I was critical about some girl with pimples, and bam! The next day I get pimples! Im not joking. Karma is a bitch).
 But this one time, just this once I hope she can understand! It wasn't me, it was life! I was trying to do it right this time. I was trying to build a clean game, a real, honest, love. Where I wouldn't hurt my partner, where I would deeply love my lover.
Where I would be everything I had ruined before.
 I tried being caring, romantic, pendant; even dirty (which is fun. But not really my thing) I tried everything in the book and it just seemed to kick me back. so I looked for answers anywhere possible, under bed sheets, in love songs, dinner tables, in the stars, in car rides,skylines, in high nights.
 But every answer pulled me up and then eventually threw me back down and I fell on my face.
I know I did it wrong. I know at the end after all I just turned stupid. I know I decided to break my promise, but when I said those words to my love, I never thought they would be so hard to keep.
" I will never leave you alone in this, with us. I promise" those are the words of good that have hurt me the must.
 Karma must understand! I was just trying to emend my past mistakes. But I did leave, I did give up, I do deserve every tear I've shed since I left and some of the tears before that. But not all of this.
Im good, I take care of my people, I share, I litsen , I even love when im not supposed to.
Is it too much to ask for life not to kill me next time I try?
Because I don't think can handle it one more time.