Its yet another cold night in my life. And again no arms to warm me, or thoughts to smooth me.
Just memories. hurtful memories.
I cant help but wonder... How things could be different and I can't find a right answer.
I think about going back, and my heart trembles, I think about staying here and my brain goes mad,but when I think of moving on, the ideas inside my brain are negative and dark.
Has all of this ruined me?
Im I condemned to live withing the cold and lonley shadows forever?
I dont agree.
Im not happy with this arrangement. There are many things I dont understand in life. And I have really tried to. So this has led me to believe there are things that are made just to be accepted, and I sometimes have a problem with this "accepting things that quite don't make sense to me."
Like just accepting a heartbreak. no, I'm totally against it. I will not under any circumstances just accept something or someone to just hurt me. My heart is my temple, it is the only thing thats meant not to be influenced, its true... I don't have controll over who it loves, or how it does it. But neither does anyone else. So, how can anyone else have control over it to hurt it! Thats just plain stupid really. Just plain stupid.
Yet, its reality. and apparently I have no say in it. Damned reality, because of you, im loosing all hope. And if is true, that hope is supposed to be the last thing to get lost then I'm utterly doomed.
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